Monday, November 20, 2006

Selling Out


In the words of Dildo Dumphey,

"Look at my FUCKING head!"

Very soon I need to sell my soul to corporate america in hopes of a livable wage, with benefits. I figured if I'm gonna be a bitch, I better start looking like a bitch, smelling like a bitch, and dressing like a bitch. This is important because I expect the man to pay my bitch ass well. So step one was to, in the words of my father, "Cut that fucking hair." Step one complete.

I've also resumed the daily maintance tradition of spraying/wiping some smelly shit on the undersides of my pits. MMMmmmm smell that yummy goodness.

Next up, blowing a few hundred dollars of my hard earned monies on a new wardrobe- should I got all out, head to the nearest mall and go straight into Ambercrombie and Fitch??!!??

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

This is no good. NO GOOD! How am I suppposed to say, "my hippie friend Jesse" anymore? If you are selling out, where does that leave me? You were my motivation for being anti government. I might as well become a republican now.....

BOOOOOOOO!!!!

Anonymous said...

all hope is not lost! he may be playing a part, but he can still be a double-agent, a wolf in sheep's skin. he'll be interacting with the man and those who serve him but he can slowly and subtly work his magic and perhaps change the course of many, change the ways of the servents of the dark side......

if you're going to do it, i'd say go all out. you don't want them suspecting that you might be a turncoat or a damn hippie. i'm guessing you'll need a suit/tie for the interview? what a thought! there's something we should do at burning man. be "the men". actually, that might scare people. never mind that.

dave

Liz said...

I think being "the men" would be hilarious at burning man. As long as no one tried to set you on fire. I could try and be tempt you away from the man...

Maybe you could make it a multi-day transitional costume.. start as the man - complete with camera man in the bushes and then slowly wake out of your brainwashed state and turn into yoursleves over the course of the week.

Jesse said...

I'm lovin this idea. SO maybe first night (b/c daytime would be way too hot for a suit) wear a full on business suit, tie, shoes (which are to be sacrificed to the desert btw) and most importantly hat w/ feather, maybe even get some cigars, and while at camp could drink some scotch. So out and get crazy which will on its own force the removal of the tie, and probably the stiff shirt by the time you get back to camp. Second night you'd leave it where you left off- hopefully everything but the tie, shirt and shoes- then you'd encourage anyone around to hook you up w/ fun burner nicknacs, lights, etc. Then the next daytime, have cool cut off shorts (ratty ends) which were business slacks, maybe your socks pulled up all high, a tore up T- and maybe a loosly tied Tie. I think it'd need to get a bit trashier from there. BTW Liz you could easily contribute w/ a business woman start and I don't know stockings and garter finish =P >.<